Top Lady
1) Pecan Pie
Yes, my number 1 is not a fruit pie. As my family will attest, I’m not too fond of pie, but I do like pecans covered in sugar sitting over a syrupy base. Besides, unlike apples, pecans only grow in the U.S., and, unlike apple pie, the best recipes call for a shot of bourbon.
2) Cherry Pie
When I think of pie, I think diners, truck stops, and coffee shops. And when I think of those things, I think of loners, drifters, and runaways—all people craving a little bit of home (but not too much home). And it always seems to be cherry pie which Enid or Madge serves to these guys with their cup of drip automatic coffee.
3) Punkin’ Pie
I once saw a woman on TV who wins the Pillsbury Pie Bake-off every year with her pumpkin pies, which she makes from her own home-grown pumpkins. Pumpkin pie is, for some reason, sacred to us. Just watch—next Thanksgiving, casually mention that you hate pumpkin pie, and then sit back and let the pariah treatment start.
4) Apple Pie
I think a lot of people like the idea of apple pie more than the actual thing. It’s a pain to make and pretty easy to screw up. That said, things that take a lot of time and skill are usually made with care, which is why we like it, and why you can buy a scented candle that smells like apple pie. Or you can get the Hot Pocket-shaped one from McDonalds.
5) Denny’s French Silk Pie
A friend of mine wrote a song about this pie. I don’t know if he really liked it that much, but I do know that I love the pretend fanciness of calling a pie “French Silk,” since it’s basically chocolate pudding scooped out into a premade crust. Mmmmm…..tastes like freedom.
Top Guy
1) Apple Pie
Apple pie is as American as baseball and Elvis Presley. If you don’t like apple pie, you’re probably on the terrorist watch list.
2) Buckeye Pie
I swear this isn’t on the list only because I’m from Ohio. Instead, it makes the cut because it’s basically a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup in pie form.
3) Oreo Pie
See above. Only substitute Oreos for peanut butter and chocolate.
4) Strawberry Pie
There are few joys in life greater than chomping down on fresh strawberries and cream on a warm summer’s day.
5) Blueberry Pie
You could easily substitute any other berry here, but this makes the cut because blueberries are my favorite berries.
1) Pecan Pie
Yes, my number 1 is not a fruit pie. As my family will attest, I’m not too fond of pie, but I do like pecans covered in sugar sitting over a syrupy base. Besides, unlike apples, pecans only grow in the U.S., and, unlike apple pie, the best recipes call for a shot of bourbon.
2) Cherry Pie
When I think of pie, I think diners, truck stops, and coffee shops. And when I think of those things, I think of loners, drifters, and runaways—all people craving a little bit of home (but not too much home). And it always seems to be cherry pie which Enid or Madge serves to these guys with their cup of drip automatic coffee.
3) Punkin’ Pie
I once saw a woman on TV who wins the Pillsbury Pie Bake-off every year with her pumpkin pies, which she makes from her own home-grown pumpkins. Pumpkin pie is, for some reason, sacred to us. Just watch—next Thanksgiving, casually mention that you hate pumpkin pie, and then sit back and let the pariah treatment start.
4) Apple Pie
I think a lot of people like the idea of apple pie more than the actual thing. It’s a pain to make and pretty easy to screw up. That said, things that take a lot of time and skill are usually made with care, which is why we like it, and why you can buy a scented candle that smells like apple pie. Or you can get the Hot Pocket-shaped one from McDonalds.
5) Denny’s French Silk Pie
A friend of mine wrote a song about this pie. I don’t know if he really liked it that much, but I do know that I love the pretend fanciness of calling a pie “French Silk,” since it’s basically chocolate pudding scooped out into a premade crust. Mmmmm…..tastes like freedom.
Top Guy
1) Apple Pie
Apple pie is as American as baseball and Elvis Presley. If you don’t like apple pie, you’re probably on the terrorist watch list.
2) Buckeye Pie
I swear this isn’t on the list only because I’m from Ohio. Instead, it makes the cut because it’s basically a Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup in pie form.
3) Oreo Pie
See above. Only substitute Oreos for peanut butter and chocolate.
4) Strawberry Pie
There are few joys in life greater than chomping down on fresh strawberries and cream on a warm summer’s day.
5) Blueberry Pie
You could easily substitute any other berry here, but this makes the cut because blueberries are my favorite berries.
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