Top 5 Comic Strips

Top Lady

1) Achewood
To know Achewood is to love Roast Beef the Cat, little Philippe, Ray, Mr. Bear, Teodor and their friends. Definitely a critic’s darling at this point, Achewood’s unique voice comes from a blend of straight-faced parody, macabre dips into Edward Gorey territory, sweet innocence, ironic desperation and references to béchamel sauce. http://achewood.com/

2) The Far Side
I remember a 60 Minutes profile of Gary Larson where Lesley Stahl tried to dissect a Far Side cartoon featuring a bunch of featherless chickens on a beach and a sign that read “No Ducks.” Lesley had real trouble trying to put into words the reasons why it was funny, and I’m not going to try either, but I will say that, thanks to Larson, we know all know that, when a dog is just barking, they’re saying “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”

3) Peanuts
Charles Schultz’s paean to the last of the nice guys, Charlie Brown, is held dear in the hearts of those who still believe in hope over experience. He’ll get that football someday!

4) Teen Girl Squad
Does this count? Seeing as I’m usually on the edge of my seat waiting for the next one, I’m going to throw it up here. Technically a comic within a cartoon, Teen Girl Squad is drawn by Strong Bad on the Homestar Runner website, who also happens to have total contempt for teenage girls. Seeing as anyone in the comic might randomly get attacked by possums or spring rolls in the next panel, this is probably the comic that most exercises the freedom of the artist to make anything happen.
http://www.homestarrunner.com

5) Calvin and Hobbes
I didn’t really like Calvin and Hobbes when it was actually running. I was a little too young for the nuances, and I seem to remember thinking it was not that funny. But in retrospect, it’s pretty amazing that someone looked at the medium that produced “The Lockhorns” and thought, “You know, I could use this to explore issues of free will, predetermination and the social relationships of mankind,” and then succeeded in doing so.

Top Guy

1) Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
The tale of a lonely, depressed man and his drug-and-sex-crazed teddy bear is as hilarious as it is depraved. Many of the Neil Swaab’s comics, found at mrwiggleslovesyou.com, are centered around bodily functions, violence and unconventional sex, but storylines also have featured an alcoholic Jesus, buying a senior citizen at a thrift store and a visit from a suicidal future version of Neil.

2) Calvin and Hobbes
Calvin is a precocious six-year-old boy with an active imagination and unique views on culture and politics. Hobbes is his stuffed tiger, who comes to life when no one else is around. The comic was widely read, and with good reason: It managed to be funny, touching and intelligent. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes’s writer and illustrator, gets special props for never merchandising his characters. (The emblems with Calvin peeing on a Chevy logo are all bootleg.)

3) Bloom County
Doonesbury is considered the gold standard for political humor, but Berkley Breathed’s comic, which filtered politics and culture through the lens of children (with mature personalities and vocabularies) and talking animals in small town Middle America skewered the right and left much more effectively. Bloom County also introduced the world to the penguin Opus, one of the most beloved and enduring characters ever created.

4) The Far Side
Gary Larson is a genius. The Far Side was like The New Yorker comics for people with a weirder sense of humor.

5) Peanuts
This makes the list for two reasons: longevity and influence. Charles Schulz wrote the strip for 50 years, making it the longest running story ever told by one person. And nearly ever other comic artist talks about Schulz in the same excited tones that baseball historians talk about Babe Ruth. Peanuts also was consistently entertaining, and two television specials based on the characters—A Charlie Brown Christmas and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown—are must see holiday fare.

Top 5 Beers

Top Guy

1) Leinenkugel's
The Leinenkugel family has being brewing beer in middle-of-nowhere Wisconsin for more than 140 years. My favorite is Leinenkugel’s Red, but the Original and Honey Weiss also are quite excellent. (There are 11 varieties in all.) You can even cook with a Leinie—the company’s website has an entire section with family recipes that use the beer.

2) Pabst Blue Ribbon
This makes the list for three reasons. One, it did win a blue ribbon in 1893. Two, now that Budweiser is owned by a Belgium corporation, PBR is the quintessential American beer. Three, thanks to Blue Velvet, whenever anybody orders a Heineken within earshot, you can say “Heineken, f--- that sh--. Pabst Blue Ribbon.”

3) Newcastle Brown Ale
The bottle looks cool, the beer tastes great, and the city’s soccer team isn’t half bad either.

4) Guinness
If you don’t like Guinness, then you should just admit that you don’t like beer.

5) Yuengling
Founded in Pottsville , Pennsylvania , in 1829, Yuengling lays claim to being America ’s oldest beer. Pennsylvania has a proud brewing history—the Keystone State was also the birthplace of Rolling Rock and Iron City —and Yuengling is the best cheap beer that never won a blue ribbon.

Top Lady

1) Żywiec
If you live outside of Poland or Chicago you’ve probably never had this beer, which is too bad. Pronounced “Ziv-yetz,” it’s crisp, not too bitter, very smooth, and 6.0% proof (most American beers are around 4.0%).

2) Carlsburg
The thinking man’s Heineken. (That thinker, of course, is Soren Kierkegaard.)

3) Guinness
A German, and American, and an Irishman walk into a bar. The German says “Bartender, give me the best beer in the world—a Beck’s!” Then the American says “No, give me the best beer in the world—a Budweiser!” The Irishman says, “I’ll have a glass of water.” The other two look at him, perplexed, and the Irishman says “Well, if the two of ya’s are drinkin’ it, I didn’t want to be rude.”

4) Barley’s MacLenny's Scottish Ale (Columbus , OH )
As good as some of the international brands can be, beer is meant to be microbrewed. Micropubs and breweries are kind of like indie labels; some get to be “major indies” (like Sam Adams) with worldwide distributors, some remain region-specific, but you can typically find them in the grocery store—especially if they have clever packaging, like Great Lakes Brewing out of Cleveland. But the blessing and curse is finding a great brewpub—and then moving away from being able to enjoy their products. Well, that’s what vacation is for, right?

5) Busch Light in a can
I know. It’s kind of gross. But who hasn’t been to a party, opened up the fridge, and found this to be the only remaining option? Who hasn’t taken a sip of Busch Light out of some aunt or uncle’s can as a kid at a backyard picnic? Also, for some reason, cans of light beer seem to be the only option available for underage high schoolers. Despite its metallic, bitter taste, for many Americans, the taste of Busch Light from a can is our madeleine cookie.

Top 5 Documentaries

Top Lady

1) Winged Migration (2003)

One of the most beautiful nature films ever made, Winged Migration celebrates the (very difficult) life of migrating birds around the world. Try to look for “behind the scenes” footage of how they captured some of the more amazing shots—especially how the camera joins flying geese at eye-level for a trip down the Seine.

2) I Like Killing Flies (2004)

This documentary profiles Kenny Shopsin, the owner and cook of Shopin’s in New York City, and it probably has more blue language than Reservoir Dogs. Kenny is pretty famous in New York for his attitude and homemade dishes such as Blisters on my Sisters (an egg-and-beans thing) and Postmodern Pancakes (pancakes with chopped-up pancakes mixed in). He’s moved to the Lower East Side but is still in the kitchen—you might want to watch this film first to prepare yourself before you wander in.

3) Helvetica (2007)

There are two kinds of people in the world: those for whom a documentary about a font sounds like a waste of time, and those for whom it sounds like the most exciting two hours possible. I think I fell in the middle before I saw this one (I mean, I bought a ticket), but the genuine interest and liveliness of the filmmaker is what puts it over the top. And, like the best documentaries, you truly walk out of the theater with a different awareness of the world around you.

4) Dig! (2004)

There are a million documentaries about bands (most of them are VH1’s Behind the Music). Director Ondi Timoner was smart enough to tell two stories in one film that shows the meteoric rise of the Dandy Warhols and the everything-that-can-go-wrong-does story of the Brian Jonestown Massacre. Seeing these two bands start out in exactly the same place, but end up with very different careers is a fascinating look into the fickleness of the music business.

5) Ken Burns’ Baseball (1994)

Two years ago, I rented and watched all nine episodes of Ken Burns’s Baseball documentary that was shown on PBS, in preparation for a visit to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. (Dorky? Yes, why do you ask?) Although Burns’s trademark close-ups of old photographs and films serve as great illustrations, it's the first-hand tales from folks such as Buck O’Neil, Red Barber, Bob Feller, Curt Flood, Doris Kearns Goodwin, and many professionals and fans that bring the game’s history alive.

Top Guy

1) Winged Migration (2003)
March of the Penguins was more acclaimed, and Microcosmos was more groundbreaking, but Winged Migration changed the way I think about nature. The documentary follows the lives of migratory birds and the life-and-death struggle that the migration demands. The Oscar-nominated film is simple yet beautiful, respectfully removed yet powerfully emotional.

2) The Fog of War (2003)
I hate Robert McNamara, and this documentary made me hate him even more. It was hailed as the first time McNamara, the secretary of Defense during the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, admitted that the Vietnam War was a mistake—an admission that was only 30 years too late. Errol Morris is arguably the best documentary filmmaker ever, but he lets McNamara off the hook time and again. Still, it’s fascinating to see the inner workings of McNamara’s truly evil mind.

3) When We Were Kings (1996)
The film is ostensibly about the famed 1974 Ali-Foreman boxing match in Zaire, and it would make the list if it stopped with that historic fight. However, director Leon Gast also weaved in subplots about Mobutu Sese Suko’s brutal dictatorship, the aftermath of colonialism in Africa, a fight-related concert featuring James Brown and B.B. King, and the reaction of black American stars returning to Africa.

4) One Day in September (1999)
Palestinian terrorist group Black September abducted 11 Israeli athletes during the 1972 Munich Olympics. Although you already know the outcome going in—the standoff ended with Jim McKay’s famous words “They’re all gone”—it’s fascinating how many times you’ll think “This might work” as the German police try another daring but ill-planned and ill-executed attempt to free the hostages.

5) Looking for Richard (1996)
Richard III is my favorite Shakespeare play, and this documentary is a major reason why. Al Pacino and a who’s who list of A-list actors attempt to stage the play, and the film cuts between staged scenes, interviews with academics and readings between the actors as they try to figure out what exactly is going on. The result is a terrific film about the creative process that brings you closer to the wonderful source material in a way that simply reading or watching the play does not.

Top 5 Olympic Events

Top Lady

1) Track and Field
I realize a lot of events fall under track and field: running, shot put, discus, high jump, long jump and hurdles. But they are compelling and exciting because there are few complicated rules or strategies: just be the fastest or strongest. It’s pretty easy to imagine the ancient Greeks doing these.

2) Luge
The luge is sledding gone insane. It is the fastest event in all of the Olympics (summer or winter) and, aside from gymnastics, might be the one that requires the most muscle control. The only thing crazier than the luge is the skeleton, in which the pilot does all that zipping around, inches to the ground, face first.

3) Gymnastics
Like track and field, a lot of activities fall under gymnastics: floor, pommel horse, rings, balance beam, parallel and uneven bars. These athletes’ bodies are like perfect machines, and the stunts they do put Cirque du Soleil to shame.

4) Ski Jump
OK, we’re going to strap some pieces of wood to your feet and send you speeding down this hill. At the end, jump off, fly for a few seconds, and then land in one piece. Sound good? (For an example of when it didn’t work out so well, check out the “Agony of Defeat” guy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinko_Bogataj)

5) High Dive
Perhaps I’m so impressed by this because the most I could manage as a kid was an arrow-straight, feet first, nose-holding plummet off of the high board. That someone has the ab strength to manage all those twists and turns and not manage to end with a giant backflop will always amaze me. Plus, there’s always the chance someone will chuck it all and do a cannonball.

Top Guy

1) Baseball
Sadly, the Beijing games will be the last Olympic hurrah for the greatest sport on Earth. It’s even sadder because baseball has truly become a world sport, with teams from North, Central and South America, Europe and Asia all holding medal hopes. Major League Baseball has filled the void, at least partially, through the World Baseball Classic, but winning that tournament can’t compare to Olympic gold.

2) Hockey
Without hockey, there would have never been the “Miracle on Ice.” As a three-year-old, I was too young to remember a bunch of American college kids upsetting the nearly invincible Russian squad, but I do remember the U-S-A chants in the theater when the based-on-a-true-story movie version hit the big screen 24 years later.

3) Swimming
I didn’t catch Olympic fever until I saw Michael Phelps win his first race. I don’t plan on missing any of Phelps’s events as he tries for an unbelievable eight gold medals. This also seems to be the sport with the most trash talking—Alain Bernard said the French were going to “smash” the Americans in Beijing, and the Australians raced right past U.S. swimmers in 2004 after American Gray Hall Jr. said that “We’ll smash them like guitars.”

4) Basketball
There’s a reason Yao Ming carried the flag for China this year: This sport has the most star power in the Olympics. The 1992 Dream Team was one of the best Olympic stories ever, and their dominating performance sparked a worldwide interest in the sport that has resulted in a huge infusion of foreign superstars (Ming, Dirk Nowitzski, Manu Ginobili) into the NBA.

5) Marathon
This could be considered the Olympic event. First, like the Olympics, it originated in Greece. Second, it embodies two-thirds of the Olympic motto: Citius (faster) and Fortius (stronger). Third, it’s coach potato proof—unlike beach volleyball or shooting, you can’t sit on your couch and (however fleetingly) think “I can do that.”

Top 5 Seinfeld Episodes

Top Guy

1) The Contest
The beauty about Seinfeld was that each show had various plotlines interweaving. While most viewers remember the “Master of Your Domain” contest between the four principal characters, they might not remember that this is the same episode where Jerry dates a virgin, George’s mother is hospitalized after catching him masturbating, Elaine has an exercise class with John Kennedy Jr., and Kramer falls for a nudist in the adjacent building.

2) The Junk Mail
Kramer opts out of the mail—and wages an anti-mail campaign—after getting one too many Pottery Barn catalogs. Hilarity ensues.

3) The Strike
This is the one with Festivus, a truly great anti-Christmas holiday featuring the airing of the grievances and the feats of strength. The episode gets its title from Kramer’s storyline—he goes back to work after being on strike for 12 years.

4) The Implant
As a teenager, I couldn’t tell whether Teri Hatcher’s breasts were real, but I knew they were fantastic. This also is the episode where George double dips a chip.

5) The Race
This is another episode where each character gets a major plotline. Jerry has to race an old high school rival to impress his new girlfriend; George responds to a personal ad in The Daily Worker, and then becomes the Yankees liaison to Cuba; Elaine gets herself and her Communist boyfriend blacklisted from a Chinese restaurant; and Kramer loses his department-store Santa gig for spouting Communist propaganda. And it all happens in less than 30 minutes.

Top Lady

1) The Parking Garage
This episode, which consists entirely of the four characters looking for their car in a garage, perfectly captures the anti-sitcom aesthetic of the show.

2) The Boyfriend (Parts 1 and 2)
Jerry meets Keith Hernandez at the gym, and Hernandez later starts dating Elaine. These two episodes also contain the “JFK” spitting parody (featuring Kramer and Newman), George telling the unemployment office he has a job pending with Vandelay Industries, Kramer dropping a baby, Jerry feeling like things are moving too fast when Keith asks for help moving, and George talking about getting to sleep with a tall woman: “like a giant.”

3) Serenity Now!
George’s dad starts yelling this whenever he gets mad. This is also the one where Kramer installs a screen door, and sits in front of it with a barbecue grill flags, and later, a sparkler. Also, a kid at a bar mitzvah tongues Elaine, because now he is a man.

4) The Susie
This episode has a whole other b-plotline about Kramer’s friend Mike thinking Jerry is a dangerous maniac; but the memorable part is Elaine’s imaginary alter-ego at work, “Susie.” Many memorable sitcoms involve funerals, but this might be the only one for an imaginary person.

5) The Fusilli Jerry
Where to begin? Most memorably, Kramer gets a license plate that says “ASSMAN” by accident but uses it to park in a doctor’s parking space at the hospital. This one also features “stopping short” and “the Move” (passed on from Jerry to Elaine’s boyfriend Puddy to George).

Top 5 Books About Sports

Top Lady

1) God Save the Fan, Will Leitch
I’m a huge fan of Deadspin.com, and Buzz Bissinger’s face-to-face assault of Leitch on Bob Costas’ show a few months back makes me like it even more (especially since Leitch stayed as cool as a cucumber the whole time, even though it was pretty clear that Buzz has no idea what a blog is). Also, midway through the book, he describes watching the Cardinals win the 2006 NLCS in a bar in New York—and I was there with him!

2) Moneyball, Michael Lewis
The concept that you can win a baseball game without getting a lot of hits (or, for that matter, any hits) is pretty revolutionary. The fact that I understand that concept (and know who Billy Beane is) is thanks to this book.

3) The Natural, Bernard Malamud
A great work of literature about the appetite for success that drives successful athletes in any sport.

4) Seabiscuit, Laura Hillenbrand
See above, non-human category.

5) Kids' sports books of fun facts and bloopers
Every house with one or more boys has these. They tend to be oversized, they have cartoon drawings instead of photos, and your mom probably bought it at the grocery store. But, 20 years later, I can still tell you that the first basketball game was played with peach baskets nailed to a wall instead of nets.

Top Guy

1) Veeck as in Wreck, Bill Veeck
Bill Veeck is the greatest promoter in baseball’s history. He planted the ivy at Wrigley Field, introduced fireworks and exploding scoreboards to the game, and convinced then White Sox announcer Harry Carey to sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the seventh-inning stretch. Veeck was also a baseball man, winning championships as the owner of the Indians and White Sox, integrating the American League with the signing of Larry Doby, and becoming a “Champion of the Little People” by sending Eddie Gaedel to bat. Veeck as in Wreck is his autobiography, and it’s one of my favorite books in any genre.

2) The Breaks of the Game, David Halberstam
The best sports books are those that are only about sports on the surface, and Halberstam’s The Breaks of the Game is a masterpiece. It’s ostensibly about the 1979 Portland Trail Blazers, a nearly perfect team derailed by big egos, salary disputes and a freak medical condition afflicting its star player. However, the book is really about the problems of selling a black sport to a predominantly white audience and how the infusion of major money affects everything that happens on and off the court.

3) Friday Night Lights, H.G. Bissinger
This is another sports book that is only kind of about sports. This time, the focus is on Texas high school football, but the heart of the book is how high school football weaves itself into the fabric of society. While Bissinger chronicles one year in the life of a small-town football team, his book also delves into subjects such as race, class, gender roles and relationships between parents and their children.

4) Ball Four, Jim Bouton
Bouton didn’t write the first tell-all about the life of a baseball player, but he definitely wrote the best. The book is Bouton’s diary of his 1977 comeback with the expansion Seattle Pilots (which would only last one year in Seattle before becoming the Milwaukee Brewers). The book was controversial from the start for breaking the code that what happens in the locker room stays in the locker room, and Bouton was virtually blacklisted from the game following its publication.

5) The Bad Guys Won, Jeff Pearlman
When I was nine years old, the New York Mets won the World Series, and I jumped on the bandwagon. Over the years, I heard that the championship team was nothing more than a collection of really talented scoundrels—the stars were Dwight Gooden and Daryl Strawberry—but I didn’t know just how bad those Mets were until reading Pearlman’s account of the 1986 season. The book also serves as a primer on how to build a World Series team and on how to dismantle that team right after the champagne stops flowing.